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Greater Than Yourself: Responses, Part 1
Over the next couple of weeks, I'll be writing a series of posts in which I'll try to capture the themes and spirit of the many, many great and inspiring ideas folks shared with me in response to the GTY challenge. Some wrote a few lines, others a few pages. All of the input was thought-provoking, and all of the inputers were very generous with their time and attention. I'll try to write some kind of a mashup of all the responses.
In the meantime, let me share a couple of paragraphs from an email written to me by Tariq Khan, of the Kitchen Table blog (in which he mostly writes about his faith). It was a little eerie how closely his thinking tracked with my own, but there were a couple of paragraphs in particular that really hit me. Tariq said it this way:
"Though people have the same value, we are not all equal. Those that say we cannot make someone greater than ourselves because we are all the same are infected with the blindness of group-think. People differ in impact, character, disposition, the list goes on. Most would agree, if they look carefully, that they classify people as greater or less on many scales. Yet, worth does not change [my italics]. Thus, it is not incorrect to attempt to cause someone to be greater than me by serving that individual.
The same is also true of groups...families, organizations and societies in turn can also serve to make (others) greater than themselves."
He goes on to say:
"Many of us already try to make others greater, but do it selectively, especially with our children. (We should do this most with our spouses, the most important people in our lives, but most choose not to do so.) We try to give them all the ingredients, including whatever we can give of our lives, they need to feel loved and to succeed. Some people just may not see that they are already involved in your concept and as such already firmly believe that you are correct [my italics again]."
I agree with Tariq: the idea of making others greater is what parenting is all about. The same can be said of great music teachers, soccer coaches, and the list goes on and on.
What concerns me, though, is that the list comes to a grinding halt as soon as we go to work. Trying to grind out a living by grinding others down is simply not the way to greatness. For anyone.
Seems to me that too many of us just leave our GTY instincts at home.
Posted by steve at 05.17.2007 | Comments (7)
Comments: Greater Than Yourself: Responses, Part 1
Steve,
Thanks for the kind words and the link. I am looking forward to your book with anticipation.
All the best to you and to your readers.
Tariq
Posted by Tariq Khan at May 17, 2007 03:45 PM
Wow! Amazing thoughts Tariq and Steve. The one thing that is different about parenting and work is what we define as success. A parent is tsuccessful when their children grow and prosper, but in the work world a lot times personal success is defined by salary and title.
The challenge for an individual in the workplace is to redefine success. If we can understand successes include the lifting up of others and the team then we will be able be a servant in the workplace.
Posted by Billy Smith at May 17, 2007 06:33 PM
Steve,
As we discussed, I am starting a series of three posts on The Kitchen Table that are based on my email to you. The series is called "A Virtuous Spiral of Giving".
An excerpt from the first post follows:
By giving unselfishly, I can cause others to be greater than me. This type of giving unleashes other forces as well.... Yet another is that the one who I helped become greater than me can also choose to turn and make me greater than them by now investing in me, leading to a virtuous spiral of giving between us as we give unselfishly to each other.
Posted by Tariq Khan at May 17, 2007 07:53 PM
Billy,
Thanks for the kind words.
Posted by Tariq Khan at May 17, 2007 08:00 PM
Steve,
An excerpt from the second post follows:
Also, in giving altruistically, we maximize the benefit to the other person so we all benefit because that person is able to perform better and be a better person. Strangely, the act of giving altruistically puts us into a “greater” position than the recipient (because we have made ourselves least when we give without angling for gain).
Posted by Tariq Khan at May 18, 2007 09:54 AM
Steve,
An excerpt from the third post follows:
Another way to say that we give unselfishly to another for their good (even making them greater than ourselves) is to say we love them unconditionally. Let’s love unconditionally with wisdom, and in all aspects of our lives.By the way, I have talked to Steve Farber. It sounds like his book will be excellent. Please be on the lookout for it.
Posted by Tariq Khan at May 19, 2007 09:21 AM
Since hearing you speak at the Sleep Country gathering of leaders conference I have visited your site on a regular basis. After reading your request for Outline Impressions I feel compelled to respond. I hope you gain something from my impressions.
Part I Expand Yourself
I think first we have to know who thy self is…..A lot of times I think we don't know ourselves well enough to expand…but I also feel that by taking a new road we discover who we actually are before the journey of expanding oneself ends.
+ Shift your perspective….By using another persons glasses a view of oneself becomes more clear. I went to Japan on the JET program as Coordinator for International Relations. I had many hats as the CIR in a small town, but what I have come to realize is that I learned more about the US and its people, culture, and beliefs while I was in Japan than I ever could if I would have stayed in the US. It gave me something to compare life in the US to. With that comparison I was able to see more...
+Elevate your intention…If your goal is to not change that status quo is fine, but if you want more you have to raise the bar. If one sets the bar high enough even falling short will land you in a position higher than when you started. I put myself in a Oh Shit moment last week and I have you to thank for that!!!! But I raised my own bar for it and I have seen instant gratification from it….Thank you!
+Commit to your legacy….When you realize who you are…the legacy can begin, but until you find yourself the legacy cannot be built….
Part II Give Yourself….Everything you give will come back 10 fold…
+ Choose Wisely. We all make choices daily….Those choices can either help you or hurt you…or do nothing…but I think we all what to make the choices that will benefit you and others…I think we all need to look beyond the instant gratification. Look 5 years down the line how choosing to go to the gym instead of watching that nights game can make your future or legacy if you want to call it that something to remember.
+Tithe your time….Time is valuable…Appreciate the time that you are given. Do not take time for granted. Use it to the best of your ability. If I choose to take the bus to work everyday for the betterment on our environment , saving money, etc…(thinking ahead), but also thinking for now by choosing to use that time on the bus to read…plan….study….write…create relationships….
+Give it all away…Again by giving it all away you have everything to gain….Appreciation levels increase when you have nothing. Our society is full of people that have everything they could ever want, but we all want more….Why…choose wisely for the future. Give up the now for all the things you will have in the future….When my wife and I gave up our lifestyle of eating out, going to the movies, buying this or that because it would make us happy then…we gave all those luxuries away…But what we got back was the appreciation of those thing that we gave up..
+Celebrate Dramatically…Sounds like a huge party with friends and family…enjoying the time you have with the people that mean the most….But one must first remember or select those that mean the most….to me this is the hardest aspect of it all.
Part III Replicate Yourself….Teach others the way of your happiness to gain absolute happiness for yourself. If you are truly happy with yourself then others will want to know why you are so happy. It is the happiness that you give to others that makes you so happy!!!
+Teach others to fish…Too often people don’t want to learn to fish because it is so much easier to ask for the fish…How do I do this or how do I do that….These are questions we need to ask ourselves, not others. We live in a time that all these questions can be answered by going to Google and typing in what it is you want to know….So stop asking others….Make the time to answer the questions yourself….
+Change the world…The world around us simply changes if we do the things above. Like my trip to Japan and since returning…the world is different….or is it just my view of the world? Haven't figured that one out yet…But if we change our perception of the world, then truly hasn’t the world changed?
Thank you for what you do Steve!!!
Warranty & Product Services Associate
Sleep Country, USA
Joshua M. Eubanks
Posted by Joshua Eubanks at May 19, 2007 01:48 PM