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04.21.10

6 Steps to Greater Than Yourself

It’s time for us to set a new gold standard for what it means to be a leader of substance and influence. We need to pick up where many “programs” leave off by realizing that it’s simply not enough for us to be helpful coaches and advisors to the people around us at work. The greatest, most successful and well-respected leaders that I’ve encountered in my two decades of consulting, advising, writing, and speaking are not just helpful: they’ve come to understand–sometimes consciously, sometimes not–that the true measure of their greatness as leaders is their ability to develop leaders who go on to surpass them in skill, influence and ability–who rise to a level greater than themselves.

There are pitfalls, of course. Devoting yourself to another’s elevation potentially carries a whole boatload of emotional and/or egotistical freight and baggage, for example. But I won’t argue those points now or try to convert the skeptics; instead, just for the sake of this discussion, I’ll assume you’re with me on this and offer these 6 steps to help you get started with a Greater Than Yourself endeavor of your own:

1. Choose Wisely While, ideally, Greater Than Yourself (GTY) is something you should do with many people (“all people” may be a bit of a stretch for even the most high-minded among us), it’s often best to start small. In the beginning, you should choose one person as your “GTY Project.” But choose wisely. Pick someone you trust and deeply believe in. It should be someone whose personal aspirations can be served by your unique experience, skills, values, and network. Be conscious and deliberate about the qualities you seek in your GTY: pick someone who has the drive, energy, heart and desire to take full advantage of what you have to give them, and whose values are congruent with your own. And–most important–it should be someone you (dare I say it?) love. Okay, I’ll accept “deeply care about.” If I must.

2. Open The Door and Invite Them In Sit down with the person you’ve chosen and have a frank and open discussion about what your intent is for him or her, and make sure that they’re willing and up to the task. Let them know that your job will be to do and give whatever you can to raise them up above yourself in capacity and success in the appropriate arena. For example, my GTY project, Tommy Spaulding, wants to excel in the arena of writing and public speaking–my professional playground. In the very beginning, I made a commitment to Tommy that I’d do everything humanly possible to help him become a better-known, more influential author/speaker than I am, as long as he was willing to take full advantage of the opportunities and contacts, etc. I would offer to him. He was.

3. Hook Them Up Think through your entire network of contacts and determine who would be valuable to your GTY. Who can help? Whom should they meet? Then open the floodgates and make all the appropriate introductions. Hold nothing and no one back. I introduced Tommy to my favorite speakers bureaus, my business manager and my publisher. He got his first book deal through those contacts, and his debut effort is coming out this fall. (It rocks, too! I’ll be posting about that soon).

4. Sing Their Praises Think of yourself as the advocate for your GTY’s value and talent, and talk about them every chance you get. Shine the spotlight on their accomplishments when they have them. Look for opportunities to let others know about your belief in this special individual.

5. Practice Tough Love Someone once said that feedback is a great gift until you get some on you. Of course you’ll want to offer plenty of words of encouragement, but you’ll also need to hold them ridiculously accountable to their own goals and aspirations, which means smacking them around when necessary. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

6. Demand the One Commitment GTY is fundamentally selfless act (think of it as The Golden Rule on steroids), and you should expect nothing in return, no quid pro quo. With one exception: demand that your GTY take on someone else as their GTY, and so on down the line. It’s the old pay it forward approach, and the implications of such a commitment are significant.

The idea of changing the world has become more than a little cliched, of late. But this on-going commitment to another’s enrichment really will add up. Maybe it won’t change the “whole wide world,” as we used to say when we were kids–but it can certainly change the world of your company, your business unit, your team, or your community.

And I can’t think of a better, nobler way to set a new leadership standard.

Click here for more resources to help you in your GTY endeavors–including an audio lesson on “Choosing Wisely.”

Technorati Tags: coaching, greater than yourself, leadership, mentoring

04.19.10

A Sandwiched Lesson About Sandwiches

First Slice:

At a sandwich shop in the Albany, NY airport, I ordered a hot turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread. The young woman behind the counter shook her head and said, “Turkey sandwiches are made on white bread.”

“‘Scuse me?” I asked.

“Turkey sandwiches are made on white bread,” she repeated. “That’s the rule.”

“The rule?” And…breathe, two, three, four. “Is it a New York state law?” And, breathe six, seven, eight. “Is it a universal rule? Like gravity? Or thermodynamics?”

“No,” she scoffed. “The boss says so: turkey goes on white bread.”

“The boss…” I caught myself at early eruption. “Okay, then, if you can’t put it on wheat, forget the whole thing. I’ll pass.”

“Okay, fine,” she said. “I’ll put it on wheat.”

“Thank you,” I said, getting a handle on my temper and feeling quite proud of my self-control. But then, before I could catch myself, I slipped into passive-aggressive muttering mode. “A white bread rule?” I grumbled under my breath. “Unbelievable! What the hell kind of way is that to do business?”

Apparently it wasn’t exactly under my breath.

“Jeez,” she said. “What’s your problem? I’m doing you a favor.”

This is what I said to myself next:

“A favor? You’re doing me a favor? Listen, toots, I’m doing you a favor by not vaulting over that counter and tap-dancing barefoot in your condiments. I’m doing you a favor by not calling your boss and telling him that his employee has a virulent Ebola-like infection and she’s sneezing on the customers. I’m doing you a favor by...”

Here’s what I said out loud:

“Thank you.”

Spit-free turkey on wheat was my reward.

And I learned something, too:

On the road to zen-like patience,

Zantac is a wonderful thing.

Second Slice:

The 50-something owner of a local Quiznos was training two new employees in his spanking new shop. I ordered a smoked turkey on (of course) whole wheat, and while someone was assembling my order, I scooted over to the cash register to pay.

And then I heard something remarkable. To you this may sound trivial, but to me it was…it was like music

The boss, who had been watching his young charge work on my lunch, said this:

“Nice work, Mike.”

Now that I think about it, that was the first time I’d even noticed the owner. So, as I settled up with the cashier, I paid him closer attention, and I noticed that he was still watching Mike. And as Mike cut my sandwich, wrapped it, and handed it to the cashier, the boss nodded and said,

“Good job, Mike.”

It was such a simple thing. Practically nothing, really. But it really struck me.  A few words of encouragement in a simple work setting. So why did it have such an impact on me?

And then it hit me: I’ve been around for a while. I’ve eaten in a lot of sandwich establishments, shopped in a lot of stores, flown on a lot of airplanes and consumed more than my fair share of goods and services in my half-century-and-change of existence.

And as a retail customer, until that day at Quiznos, I had never, ever overheard a boss compliment an employee. I’m not saying it never happens; it just doesn’t seem to happen publicly.

And retailers wonder why, in their businesses, ridiculously high turnover is a “fact of life.”

So let me say this:

Nice work, Mike’s boss. Good job.

There’s a sandwich shop in Albany that could use your help.

(Adapted from a couple of earlier posts).

04.08.10

Down Blog-Memory Lane #2: Love and the Defense Contractor

One of my all-time favorite examples of the role of Love in getting extraordinary results at work, this was originally posted on 4/15/06:

For those of you who think that love in business is a soft, California, group hug, hoo-ha kind of thing, I offer this story from a sourcing agent at a defense contractor. His job is to procure the materials his company needs to make guns, missiles, and other things that go boom. Most of us would consider that to be the polar opposite of “soft stuff,” true? We would be right. That’s why even more of us struggle with the very idea of love as an operating principle in that kind of business.

We would be wrong.

From his email to me after my speech at his company (used with his permission):

“I recently had to acquire material necessary for training our soldiers to deploy a device that will save many of the lives of our troops in the field. We received the contract for these devices from the Marine Corps. The lead time for this material we needed was quoted at 6-8 weeks. We needed it in 1 week. I figured the very best we could hope for was 4-6 weeks with some arm twisting. The supplier could not and would not accept premium dollars for overtime. We couldn’t throw enough money at the problem.

During the course of our conversation, I simply related to the supplier that I was not their customer. Our mutual customer was the Marine in the field, whose very life could depend on what we did. I do not believe that I was being dramatic, nor was I waving the flag. I simply stated the facts. That same afternoon, I received a call that the lead time would be reduced to 1 week. In fact, the supplier wound up shipping a day earlier than they promised. They had pulled together all of their team and did what couldn’t be done under normal business conditions.

I’d like to think that my skills as a negotiator had something to do with it, but that would be far short of the truth. Especially after listening to your talk, I’m convinced that something far more powerful was at work.

On my desk I have two 8″ x 10″ photos of Marines. People often ask me why I have 2 pictures of the same Marine. Most of the Marines look alike in their uniforms anyway, but these two are [my identical twin sons]. They joined the Corps a few months apart, and both of them finished their service about 10 years ago. I still display their photos with pride. When I see them, I can’t help but think about all our Marines on duty. Whenever I see a Marine, it’s like seeing my own.

Maybe it was the genuine Love I have for those Marines that came across the phone. After all, you did say it was contagious.”

Amen to that.

Technorati Tags: leadership, love, Marines, service

04.05.10

How to be a StoryLearner

I was taking a trip down blog-memory lane and found a post from a few years ago on how to be a StoryLearner.  It’s a good reminder/”how-to”  for paying considerable attention to the people around us:

To consciously and intentionally develop a deep “fascination” with others at work, try this life-long practice (adapted from The Radical Edge)

1. Write down the names of one or two key people internal to your business (colleagues, employees, staff, managers, partners, associates, etc.) and one or two key external people (customers, vendors, suppliers, etc.)

2. List everything you know about each person—beyond the “function” he or she serves. Assess how much you know or don’t know about each as a human being.

3. Ask each person to tell you one important story or event from his or her life. Or look for an opportunity to find out more during your next conversation. Ask each to share with you his or her number one business/career/work challenge.

4. Ask if there’s some way you can be of service—something you can do to help with each person’s challenge. Even if that person declines your offer, he or she will always appreciate your asking.

5. Pick one or two more people and do it again.

6. Repeat until you run out of people—for the rest of your life, in other words.

Technorati Tags: employee engagement, leadership, mentoring, story

04.01.10

I Have Never…

I’ve written extensively on this blog about Up with People, (see the GTY experiment, for example), and I’m proud to be on the organization’s Board of Directors.

If you or anyone you know are between the ages of 18 and 29 and have any desire to gain deep experiences of, and build significant bridges with, other cultures and–dare I say it again–change the world for the better, you must must must take a very close look at this remarkable, non-profit program. I promise you, you’ll grow in ways you never imagined.

If you have never, for example, overcome your stage fright in front of 3000 Thai children…well, here’s a good place to start:

Technorati Tags: leadership, non-profit, travel, up with people